Dear Mr. Clean,
I regret to inform you that my purchase of your Magic EraserTM product did not in fact make me beautiful, rich, carefree, or fabulously well-to-do, contrary to what the television machine told me.
However, it did do a very nice job of cleaning the grime off my glass shower door, a task for which no cleaning product known to mankind has henceforth proven suitable. So I offer my thanks to you, despite the deceptive advertising.
Sincerely,
Helen Hunter-Boyle
