I'm also reading "Acceptance" by Jeff Vandermeer, book 3 in the Southern Reach series.
Monday, October 06, 2025
Now Reading: Junji Ito, Jeff Vandermeer
Went with my kiddo to check out a new bookstore over the weekend,and came home with a book by Junji Ito that I'd not heard of, "The Liminal Zone" (book 1, apparently):
Social Media Was A Mistake
Some freaking nerd figured out how to sell ad space on your auntie's vacation photos, and now the US President is trying to incite a civil war for Content
Thursday, June 16, 2005
GROCERY STORE OF THE DAMNED
In the front of the store (the section that might as well be labelled "Please steal this shit because we can't get rid of it any other way"): An improbably large number of 16-ounce jars of "pickled herring in sour cream." I say 'improbably large' because the sheer fact that there is more than, say, one of these in existence flummoxes me.
Inspected, then replaced on the shelf: a small tub of Kozy Shack rice pudding. I loves me some Kozy Shack pudding, but I don't loves this:
SELL BY: MAY 28 05
In the pasta aisle: "Meat Flavored Spaghetti Sauce." Ponder that for a moment. Meat. Flavored.
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
The Pickle of Meaning
I happened to notice my tube of toothpaste has this printed on it:
FOR BEST RESULTS, SQUEEZE TUBE FROM THE BOTTOM AND FLATTEN AS YOU GO UP.
"For best results." Toothpaste is ostensibly for cleaning the teeth. Does that mean if I squeeze from the bottom, the toothpaste will clean my teeth more effectively? No, it just means I'll get more paste out of the tube.
Are the manufacturers admitting here that their toothpaste in fact does nothing? Is toothpaste merely some kind of fetish object?
FOR BEST RESULTS, SQUEEZE TUBE FROM THE BOTTOM AND FLATTEN AS YOU GO UP.
"For best results." Toothpaste is ostensibly for cleaning the teeth. Does that mean if I squeeze from the bottom, the toothpaste will clean my teeth more effectively? No, it just means I'll get more paste out of the tube.
Are the manufacturers admitting here that their toothpaste in fact does nothing? Is toothpaste merely some kind of fetish object?
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
Umbrellas
Umbrellas do not belong to us. We might think they are bound to the same mundane laws of ownership which govern other objects, but they are not.
Your umbrella is a fickle thing. Don't let it convince you of its unerring constancy. You might pick it up one day, feeling its familiar weight in your grip, and think, "ah yes, here is my trusty umbrella" -- but you should know that secretly, inside, that umbrella is yearning to breathe free, pining to be left on a park bench or a subway seat, lusting to become another person's property and start the cycle anew.
Someday, somehow, your umbrella is going to be protecting the head of someone you don't know. It's the Universal Law of Umbrellas.
There may also be a Conservation Law of Umbrellas, too. For every umbrella lost, another umbrella will be found.
I was pondering this prospect a few minutes ago. In the kitchen, I noticed a small green umbrella which I don't remember ever seeing before. It seems to have materialized some time over the weekend, which is convenient actually, seeing as to how my former umbrella escaped by means of a city bus on Friday.
I'll care for it for a while, and then let it escape into the wild.
Oh, who am I kidding. It will do that on its own.
Your umbrella is a fickle thing. Don't let it convince you of its unerring constancy. You might pick it up one day, feeling its familiar weight in your grip, and think, "ah yes, here is my trusty umbrella" -- but you should know that secretly, inside, that umbrella is yearning to breathe free, pining to be left on a park bench or a subway seat, lusting to become another person's property and start the cycle anew.
Someday, somehow, your umbrella is going to be protecting the head of someone you don't know. It's the Universal Law of Umbrellas.
There may also be a Conservation Law of Umbrellas, too. For every umbrella lost, another umbrella will be found.
I was pondering this prospect a few minutes ago. In the kitchen, I noticed a small green umbrella which I don't remember ever seeing before. It seems to have materialized some time over the weekend, which is convenient actually, seeing as to how my former umbrella escaped by means of a city bus on Friday.
I'll care for it for a while, and then let it escape into the wild.
Oh, who am I kidding. It will do that on its own.
Monday, August 02, 2004
Truth in Advertising
Dear Mr. Clean,
I regret to inform you that my purchase of your Magic EraserTM product did not in fact make me beautiful, rich, carefree, or fabulously well-to-do, contrary to what the television machine told me.
However, it did do a very nice job of cleaning the grime off my glass shower door, a task for which no cleaning product known to mankind has henceforth proven suitable. So I offer my thanks to you, despite the deceptive advertising.
Sincerely,
Helen Hunter-Boyle
I regret to inform you that my purchase of your Magic EraserTM product did not in fact make me beautiful, rich, carefree, or fabulously well-to-do, contrary to what the television machine told me.
However, it did do a very nice job of cleaning the grime off my glass shower door, a task for which no cleaning product known to mankind has henceforth proven suitable. So I offer my thanks to you, despite the deceptive advertising.
Sincerely,
Helen Hunter-Boyle
Wednesday, May 19, 2004
Thought for the day
Donuts are what make the American society what it is today. Big is beautiful. If we lose the Donut industry, we are losing what this great country is built upon. If you are on the Atkins diet, you are unpatriotic!
Posted by: I ruv Donuts at May 19, 2004 12:10 PM
Posted by: I ruv Donuts at May 19, 2004 12:10 PM
Friday, May 14, 2004
Recent Projects: Neverwinter Nights
This is what I've been up to for the last three weeks:
Neverwinter Nights adventure: Trouble in Larchwater. A joint project with Herr Bhagwan. Sophistication level: hack-n-slash. Playtime approximately 60 minutes, for NWN vers. 1.62. No expansions or hakpacks required.
Demo module: Working Waitress NPC. An adaptation of the waitress routine in the "Official Worldbuilders' Guide," with some important bug fixes. Can be used as a prefab.
Demo module: Party People. Another prefab NPC scriptset, this time for mingling NPCs at a party. This doesn't work absolutely perfectly, but it's close enough to be useable. NOTE: requires the CEP.
Demo module: Simple Dynamic Delivery Quest System. Creates dynamic "FedEx" type quests via conversation with NPCs. Pretty slick, if you know how it works; pretty underwhelming if you don't. Hee hee.
Neverwinter Nights adventure: Trouble in Larchwater. A joint project with Herr Bhagwan. Sophistication level: hack-n-slash. Playtime approximately 60 minutes, for NWN vers. 1.62. No expansions or hakpacks required.
Demo module: Working Waitress NPC. An adaptation of the waitress routine in the "Official Worldbuilders' Guide," with some important bug fixes. Can be used as a prefab.
Demo module: Party People. Another prefab NPC scriptset, this time for mingling NPCs at a party. This doesn't work absolutely perfectly, but it's close enough to be useable. NOTE: requires the CEP.
Demo module: Simple Dynamic Delivery Quest System. Creates dynamic "FedEx" type quests via conversation with NPCs. Pretty slick, if you know how it works; pretty underwhelming if you don't. Hee hee.
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